Recession? What Recession?

I know many EBP are unaware of this, but we are in the midst of a major recession. And it hurts, doesn’t it? Let me share with you a horror story from the EBP battlefield.

An EBP named “Doris” loved her job. She had the typical fat salary with the 10% bonus, “freedom of action”, nice office, and the respect from her superiors that a top 25 MBA commands. Of course, these are things she has come to expect. You’re supposed to have these things, right? Sadly, Doris was given the pink slip:

Manager: May I have a word with you in my office?
Doris: Sure (I’m getting promoted!).
Manager: We’re going to have to let you go. Things are slow around here, and this is no reflection on your performance at all. You will receive a separation package that equals your annual (6 figure) salary, plus unused vacation, and health insurance for the next 2 months. I’ve also submitted your name to several managers at other companies in town. I hope you understand.
Doris: (Damn, what about our girls’ trip to Milan next month?) I understand, and I harbor no hard feelings. If anything else comes up here…
Manager: (Interrupts) Yes, yes. I’ll call you right away. Take care, and good luck.

Doris is a victim. She got blindsided with a vacation and 125k in up front spending money.

“Every American must”, President Obama said, “…be ready to sacrifice”.

Doris is now sitting in her townhome eating sushi with edamame, listening to her OM Lounge, Vol. 5 CD . She has to make some tough choices. The net of her direct deposit of 125k (due to taxes and 401k contribution) will be a paltry 93k. What’s a girl to do?

For those who are unsure where Doris should start sacrificing, let me help get you started:

She should stop going to the movies ($9.50), and stick to On-Demand movies in her media room.

She should limit her Whole Foods/Central Market/Trader Joe’s spending to perishable goods only (ouch).

Get the “nails did” weekly at a nail place, instead of the spa.

Cancel the girls’ trip to Milan until she is "in a better financial position ".

Slum it at Macy’s for a while. She can always park in front of Neiman or Saks.

Speaking of cars, it’s time to bite the bullet and trade down. Sell the BMW, and drive a Mini Cooper until this economic storm blows over.

2 weeks later, Doris gets a call for a job offer of 89k, plus a 10% signing bonus. No way; she turns it down. 4 days later, she gets another offer for 93k. "Yuck, I don't think so. If they think I'm one of those 'I'm just so glad to be here' blacks...".

These low paying job offers are depressing her. She decides to do the Milan girls’ trip to clear her head. Besides, during the 10 days in Milan, she will save money. Her air conditioning will be off, her car will be sitting in the garage, and she won’t be ordering sushi every other day, right?

She does a few more interviews before heading off, and gets a job offer on her PDA while in Milan with the girls. $126,500, but no signing bonus (hey, things are slow). She gripes about the missing bonus, but takes the job at the insistence of her girlfriends.

That’s okay, at least she was “ready to sacrifice”…

Culture War - A Letter from the Battlefield

Special thanks to Al from Bay Shore for writing this post.

As you know, I have suddenly developed an obsessive fixation on Danceable R&B (disco). I think this is part of my evolving music snobbery. This seems to be a bourgie Negro thing in that it is an extension of my appreciation of the music that we EBP love so much - House Music. I theorize that our appreciation of House Music is akin to our appreciation of Neo Soul (I hate that term so much but have no other way of describing it) as well as other forms of alternative black music. This appreciation, to me at least, is nearly political in that it is a hugely partisan stance against popular black culture. Each time I check out Jimmy Castor's live performance of "Its Just Begun" on YouTube,
I feel an almost nationalistic swell of pride. It is a black pride but it’s a black pride that is intentionally juxtaposed to popular black culture.

I guess I am being political.

In the 70s, I would have donned a dashiki and an afro to protest "white cultural hegemony" and its "Pat Boone-like" amenities. Today, I listen to Res and cook my collard greens in a concentrated broth of roasted neck bones, mirepoix, thyme, bay leaf, clove, cane syrup and hot sauce so as to refine and enrich their flavor as a protest against the undiscriminating culture.

I am somewhat scarred from an experience involving a chalky tasting slice of sweet potato pie while an SWV video was playing on BET. And speaking of Res, check out her interpretation of black sexuality and femininity. It’s sophisticated, raspy, lilting, and complex. Can't say that about other pop-star black female artists and their pitiful artistry.

I have become intentionally alienated from popular black culture without feeling the necessity to flee to white culture. In my own little way, I am waging a culture war. I've stopped trying to "understand the brothers", and I ain't gonna try "talking to them" either. I am in a state of war. We cannot occupy the same space; therefore, somebody's got to go. As I said before, this isn't about my disco fixation but about a deeply black, and highly refined, alternative to popular black culture, as well as the diseased wreckage that popular black culture has become. I am trying to officiate a complete transfusion of culture in a black nationalist context. In other words, there are good things in the black macroverse that can completely, and totally, replace the likes of Gucci Mane and the Housewives of Atlanta.

Okay, maybe that is going a bit too far, because black folks should be entitled to their guilty pleasures. Mine is "Forever My Lady", but my point is that the pendulum of popular opinion must be pushed into a direction that marginalizes, if not minimizes, its consumption of the widespread foolishness that is popular black culture. And just because I desire a cultural transformation in black nationalistic terms, that does not mean exclusionary policies based on race. I am arguing that the blood used for our transfusion of "black alternative culture" also includes its spin-offs, ancillary expressions, and varying degrees of interpretations undertaken by folks of other races and ethnicities.

For example, I have an appreciation for Hip Hop, but that does not mean that I have an appreciation for contemporary rap's trite and unsophisticated expressions. Instead, we can include Amel Larrieux , Blue Six, and Jazzanova as a part of our cultural transfusion. For disco enthusiasts like me, we can be equally selective opting for Relight My Fire instead of the Bee Gees. And if you want R&B, I got the perfect R&B b-side mix for you. Once again, there are black alternatives in which we can indulge AT THE EXPENSE of popular black culture.

And this is what was on my mind during the Christmas Holidays.

Merry Chrismahanukwanzaaka !!!

Around this time of year I'm sure we've all heard someone say that "Jesus is the reason for the Season". I have always taken that to be a reminder for people to not get so caught up in the blatant consumer driven exploitation and secularization of the Christmas Holiday. Well, at the risk of being overly pedantic, or at the very least igniting the righteous Christian ire from some of our readers, that oft quoted phrase is seriously overreaching.

It is true that Jesus is the reason for the Christian holiday of Christmas.
However, the "Holiday Season" (as it has become known, not without copious amounts of controversy), encompasses celebrations from a variety of religious and secular/spiritual traditions. That is why my hat is off to the sheer genius who came up with the Virgin Mobil ad campaign a few years back that coined the phrase "Chrismahanukwanzaka” (their spelling). I added the extra "a" to emphasize Kwanzaa. It's my nod and wink to the core audience of this site, EBP. It's also an homage to my formerly oh-so Afrocentric self (That's a whole other post, and believe me, we're working on it).

My point isn't to belittle any particular tradition, but to point out that there is no monolithic religious claim to the month of December. Your religious affiliation, or non affiliation, no longer matters. The truth is, the (once) all mighty dollar has been pushed to the forefront of most of today's religious/spiritual holiday celebrations. Further, black people are as varied in their religious and spiritual affiliations as any other group. It's time we acknowledged and celebrated that fact. So I'd like to take time to wish each and every one of you, dear readers, a Very Merry/Happy Chrismahanukwanzaaka! May the New Year, under new leadership, find us once again a prosperous nation.

The Chrismahanukwanzaka carol itself, courtesy of the folks at Virgin (or their ad agency) says it all: (Come on, sing it with me ya'll!)

It's okay if you're a Muslim, a Christian or a Jew,
It's okay if you're agnostic and you don't know what to do,
an all-inclusive celebration, no contractual obligation,
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you (and pagans too!)
In some ways we're all monkeys, Well, maybe just a smidgen,
I'm a Scientologist, That's kind of a religion,
Whose faith is the right one? It's any body's guess,
What matters most is camera phones for $20 less.
And there are never any hidden fees.
Oh what a joyous day, No commitments means I'm proud to go both ways!
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you,
this is gonna be the best
Chrismahanukwanzakah ever!

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrismahanukwanzakah

So, what do you do? Snobbery's Big Sister

"This city deserves a better class of criminal, and I'm gonna give it to them".

The Joker (Dark Knight, 2008).

Some common class markers: Independent film. School teacher. Rolex. Truck stop. Custom-built house. Union member. Shaniqua. Yoga. Ultimate fighting. Brie. White collar criminal. PBS. The hood. "He works at McKinsey". Dog fighting. Pepperdine. Dissertation. Gang-banger. NPR. BMW. Tofu. BET. Tractor pull. Downtown Lofts. Gun show. Howard University. 3rd generation. "Her kids are in private schools". Homeless. Princeton. Chicago Symphony. Medicaid. MBA. Passport. Hyundai. Couscous. East St. Louis. Private jet. Convicted felon. Ivy League.

"So, what do you do?" is a very loaded (and rude) question. It is the most common way people assess one another in conversation, along with assessing speech, appearance, and bearing. Allow me to translate this question, and some of its variations, in to English.

The Snob, M.A. 2nd generation college graduate, high middle class, rabid social climber. "So, what do you do?" (So, what is your social status? Upon first glance, I think I might be better than you.)

The Reverse Snob is a successful black radiologist. R. Snob, M.D., almost joined the Nation of Islam in college, and can still recite parts of old Farrakhan speeches. Like a good militant, he hated white people and felt that becoming a doctor would "show them" (that is, until he met his blonde haired, blue-eyed wife, a fitness instructor, and moved with her into their 1.5m house in a gated community). He flaunts old deck shoes, ashy ankles, uncombed, nappy hair (because, in his mind, he can), and a BMW that is seldom washed (he doesn't want to appear to be taking it too seriously). After a couple of drinks, he'll tell you, like most EBP would, that he's fighting The Good Fight with his brain.

He replies, "I work at a hospital" (He loves setting Snobs up for the kill).
Snob, "Oh (I AM better than him!), are you a nurse?"
R. Snob "No, I'm not (feigning humility, holding back a smirk)."
Snob "Ok, (as he stands taller, holding back a smirk), then you must be a technician."
The coup de grâce "Well, no...I'm actually a doctor".

A nosy climber on Status Steroids recently asked me the loaded question, "So, where do you live?" Upon my reply, she followed up with, "What part?". Then came, "What subdivision?" THEN came, "Which house?" THEN CAME, "Hmm (running the numbers)...does your wife work (are you doing all of this on your salary)?"

I replied, "It was nice talking with you", and walked away.

While sitting in a large, affluent black church in a major city, I witnessed a group of brown babies being baptized. The well-paid pastor announces each baby's name before sprinkling the water:

Pastor - "Jonathan Reid Huston"
Church - "Amen"
Pastor- "LaQuisha Destiny Jones"
Church - (chuckles)
Pastor - "Jordan Wynne Long"
Church - "Amen"
Pastor - "LaShonda Keisha Johnson"
Church - (chuckles)
Pastor - "Barry Hamilton Swanson"
Church - "Amen"

The pastor recently remarried. The church mailed a letter to all of its members that announced, "God has sent Pastor ____ a lovely wife. She earned her bachelor's degree from Brown, and her master's degree from Rice (we want to reassure you that the good pastor would never marry someone from a state university or nothin' like that)."

Social class affects every aspect of our lives. People are constantly making judgements about others. Sociologists generally consider one's social class to consist of four components: income, net worth, occupational prestige, and education level (how much and where). It is the combination of all four of these factors. For example, a professor who makes 60k has more social status than a plumber who makes 100k. She makes less money, but has higher educational and occupational status. Her social and cultural capital are more likely to be higher as well.

White collar criminals on Wall Street get treated better than marijuana dealers on Main Street, who get treated better than home invaders. When trying to get a job while holding a criminal record, "I got busted with pot when I was 19" sounds a lot better than, "Me and my boys broke in to a house with guns, duct taped the family, and robbed them, back when I was 19". Martha Stewart was able to tour prisons upon her conviction so she could choose the best one. After her release, she flew back up to her perch of a successful show and celebrity status, as if she never committed a crime. Slick Rick and Mystikal, however, did not get to choose the prison with air conditioning and carpet.

The class lines among blacks in America are hardening by the hour. This blog's existence is a small example of that. Why call it "Stuff Educated Black People Talk About", as opposed to "Stuff Black People Talk About"? Barack and Michelle are shedding light on the black middle and upper-middle class in a big way, so you will eventually be outed whether you like it or not. They are also shedding light on the fact that being Ivy League and rich appears to be trumping race. You can't become President with an Associate degree and a 50k job.

Then there is black flight, a term applied to the movement of black people to suburban areas. Everyone is too familiar with white flight, but 39% of blacks live in the suburbs as of 2000, and most of them are middle class. Some sociologists argue that there is no such thing as white flight or black flight, but Bright Flight. Educated people tend to live together, gravitating to the same zip codes, subdivisions, and school districts. They generally refuse to live with people who are socially lower than them. According to Michael Weiss, you are where you live, and your zip code tells marketers everything they need to know about you. We always hear about those EBP who choose to stay in the hood in order to help out, but these people seem to be outliers.

In closing, I never ask people what they do for a living, so some EBP use "So, what do you do?" as a pretext for telling me all about what they do.

"So, what do you do?"
"I work downtown (vagueness makes snobs anxious)".
"(Damn, he didn't ask me what I do) Oh...well... right now, I'm at Booz putting together deals, but do you know anyone looking for an executive with an MBA from Duke? I graduated in the top 5% of my class, do you think that may help (fake humility if I've ever seen it)?"

Alrighty then......

While in Brussels, I met an American woman on a train:

"So, what do you do?"
"I work downtown"
"Really, doing what?"
"Hi, I'm Mod 2, and you are...?"
"Cindy, Cindy Status-Seeker. So, what airline did you fly (you didn't give me the status marker I am seeking, so I'll find another one)?"
"American (you just can't catch a clue)".
"Oh (Aha!), I flew British Airways. They're sooo great; they give you so many more amenities, and the seats are more comfortable, and blahblahblahblah. Have you ever flown British Airways?"
"No, I haven't."
"Well (gleeful), I'm sure you'll get to try it some day".

Did I tell you the one about......

Are we 'There' yet?

The philosopher Chris Rock asked, "When are black people going to get There?"

Is the war really over now? Do we need to shut up now that we have a black president?

Is it just me, or do race relations seem to be improving? Yeah, I know society still has racial issues, and we are not all holding hands and singing "We Are The World" or "Ebony and Ivory....live to together in perfect harmony...", but since P. E. Barack Hussein smoked McCain in November, I feel taller. As I walk past a television at a mall, dept. store, or cafeteria at work, I see people who look like me (the Obamas) moving in to the most powerful political house in the country.

This is going to go on for (hopefully) 8 years. What does this 4 - 8 year infomercial of a nuclear black family that is highly educated, powerful, and articulate, do to the psyche of blacks, and society as a whole?

Regardless of your political leanings, how many negative black images in television and theater have the Obamas canceled out? The Cosby Show did its part in the 80's to balance out the negative imagery we all know about, then came Mayor Harold Washington, Marion Berry (just kidding, hehe), Ron Brown, Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and now P. E. Obama.

So THIS is what it is like to be white in America.

Every day, as I walk past a television or a newspaper stand, I am bombarded with images of someone who looks like me:

Making major decisions of global significance.

Receiving deference.

Deferring to no one.

Affecting the Dow and global financial markets with words.

Putting a dark-skinned black woman on a pedestal.

The two girls who will soon be living in the White House look like my two girls. The First Lady looks like my wife. My daughters are growing up seeing that, and they are going to feel no boundaries as they grow up. After all, if a black person can become President, what can they not do?

Are we 'There' yet?

This is clearly a milestone in U.S. history that will catapult our image forward. Regarding the sagging pants trend, Obama said that, "Brothers need to pull up their pants". Maybe more brethren with couth that is wanting will be inspired to pull up their pants, speak proper English (at least from 9-5; baby steps, folks), and stop emailing resumes that say "Holla at me" (true story) on the cover.

Stuff EBP Talk About, Greatest Hits

On November 11, 2008,

Moderator 1 to Al from Bay Shore:

...However, just because YOU think that House Music is Tres Chic, Hip and edgy doesn't mean that it is to all of us. Nor does it mean that anyone who doesn't "get it" is tragically Un-Hip.

Al from Bay Shore to Moderator 1:

"Mod 1, I am hip." <<<<< THAT, my friends, is classic!!

On July 21, 2008, Nikea said,

"I am not an argumentative Black woman. I just happen to have the combined traits of persistence and adversarial conversationist."

Nice! I have no parry for that one...

On June 27, 2008,

CPC said:

...seriously, EBP (like to)...talk about video games and cool clothes...

Ken to CPC:

...I guess I'm too "cerebral" ...because I'm like WTF??? ...Is it me or are these just some stupid ass people with low and common expectations?? We should talk about hip hop and what else did that fool say??? Wow? So, I guess we can't talk politics either. I'll bet the words "appropriate" and "commodity" were just too many syllables. I'm starting to get pissed.

Tell us how you REALLY feel, Ken. HAHAHAHAHA!

This was a pivotal statement in the 'history' of this blog. This Cosbyesque slapdown was our equivalent to John Paul Jones' "I have not yet begun to fight". It put the wind back in our sails when we were initially doubting that there were EBP out there who wanted to talk. At that point, we decided that we would not dumb down the blog, even if it meant making a graceful exit shortly thereafter.

We would rather have meaningful dialogue with 7-10 people than stupid talk with 50.

We appreciate your participation, and encourage the other readers and lurkers to come out of hiding and weigh in on these past posts.

Piracy – Ain’t no fun if the brothers can’t get none.

Our society loves to glamorize outlaws; you know, the Jesse James Gang, the pirate Blackbeard and his crew, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Doc Holiday, Billy the Kid, etc. Then there are the fictitious outlaws, cowboys and pirates who steal from the rich. We even learned as kids about Robin Hood, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor. I guess his last name should have been a dead giveaway.

American film and television is rife with shows and movies glamorizing the mafia, referring to them as “Goodfellas” (Robert DeNiro got rich off of his various mob roles). Clint Eastwood and John Wayne made a killing on cowboy flicks.

Romanticizing people who take stuff that isn't theirs is a long time American tradition.

Now the sh __ isn’t cute. Black men from extremely poor African countries are terrorizing the high seas with very well-oiled entrepreneurial ventures: piracy (AAARGH!!). They do not, however, don parrots on their shoulders, or wear those cool hats and clothes. Oh, no, they keep their game real.

Not this:








But this:

Oh, and GET THIS. The pirates don’t call it piracy; they call it “taking tax”. And, unlike most of us, they don’t have to fool around with TurboTax; TurboTax is for suckers.

A group of these pirates were just paid 1.2mil in their latest heist for the release of the hostages, and seized a supertanker carrying 100 mil worth of Saudi oil. Hey, they only want to “tax” them 25% for moving through their waters. That’s about what the average American worker pays.

These African men, who come from very poor backgrounds, swift boat it out to these large ships, and garner the attention of the world's most powerful governments. Mark Twain said that "History doesn't repeat itself; at best it sometimes rhymes ."

After a hard month's work on travel assignments, they are taking the booty back home, building new houses, rolling in luxury cars, and sporting beautiful women on their arms. Reminds me of my earlier post, “Is College a Scam?” These pirates skipped college and learned invaluable skills on the job that I don’t have: high level negotiating (I’ve never negotiated a multi-million dollar deal!!), team building, macroeconomics, supply chain, psychology, and tax law.

Piracy is also stimulating parts of Somalia’s economy:

But in northern coastal towns like Haradhere, Eyl and Bossaso, the pirate economy is thriving thanks to the money pouring in from pirate ransoms that have reached $30 million this year alone.
Once eroded by years of poverty and chaos, these towns now are bustling with restaurants, Land Cruisers and Internet cafes. Residents also use their gains to buy generators — allowing full days of electricity, once an unimaginable luxury in Somalia.
"There are more shops, and business is booming because of the piracy," said Sugule Dahir, who runs a clothing shop in Eyl. "Internet cafes and telephone shops have opened, and people are just happier than before."

But, the big kids always win. Blackbeard was finally killed, and they just now announced that some pirates were just captured by the French after they received 2 million Euros and released the hostages. The French only recovered a portion of the money.

Oh well, I guess I'll take my chances with the U.S. stock market....

Snob Power

Snob:

1. A person who imitates, cultivates, or slavishly admires social superiors and is condescending or overbearing to others.

2. A person who believes himself or herself an expert or connoisseur in a given field and is condescending toward or disdainful of those who hold other opinions or have different tastes regarding this field: a musical snob.

For most readers, when reading the definition of a Snob, immediately one or more people who fit this description will come to mind.

Surely everyone has heard one or more variation of the following:

”I only own/drive luxury cars; what do you drive?”

Or perhaps differing degrees of street cred:

“There are three doctors living on our street.”

vs.

“I can still hang out when I go down to the ‘hood. Yo’ ass wouldn’t last an hour on the street where I grew up!”

Snobbery by association:

"(Fill in the blank) and I are like ‘this’ -We’re tight because we go way back.”

One of our readers, who is also a frequent commenter, shared a story of a lawyer who was playing one-upmanship with a friend of his. "Oh your friend is a lawyer? I'm a lawyer too. What type of lawyer is he?" It’s not enough to obtain your JD and become a practicing attorney. There is always going to be a distinction between the run of the mill lawyer and those who specialize. It’s the same with medicine. “Oh your son is a GP? That’s nice. My son is a neuro-surgeon.”

Snobbery knows no bounds. Church folks are certainly not immune.
Everyone knows a self-righteous religious snob or two or three. Yet what part of
"I’m saved in the name of Jesus, attend such and such church. We have over 3,000 members" reminds you of anything remotely humble or like the man that many profess to be their savior?

Well traveled snobs are often the worst. "We have traveled extensively throughout the world. Where have you been, besides Canada, Mexico or the Caribbean?"

How about the ultimate keeping it real EBP: "I went to a HBCU, not one of those white colleges".

Then there is the flip side, the EBP who thinks that ONLY Ivy League schools provide a decent education. You've met one I'm sure. They will tell you whether you care to know or not, "My daughter attends Yale".

Snobbery is not limited to education, world travel, the church you attend, the kind of car you own/drive-or even where you live. People can be stuck on, proud to the point of arrogance, just about any topic you can think of. The list is virtually endless.

There are the “Foodies.” Organic Food Snobs are some of the worst. "We only buy organic. That's why I shop at Whole Foods".

Literary Snobs: "I only read non-fiction books (you know, the ones that require sustained thought). What have you read lately, besides Ebony and Jet."

Economic Snobs: "As a savvy investor I understand the financial markets. It's not just winning and losing, you've got to know how to play the game". I so want to ask the lot of them, "And how's that working out for you right about now?"

Then there is my personal favorite, the "Reverse Snob" (Snobbery: the American Version, by Joseph Epstein), an individual who judges you based on certain character traits, or the perceived lack thereof.

"My neighbor bought a Lexus, but we bought a Toyota because we are above such pettiness".

"Unlike you, I don’t look down on anyone. I see everyone as my equal".

"I don't need a $400 I-phone; my $30 flip phone works just fine".

Or the non-attachment snobs:

"I’m not a slave to material things the way you are. I am not my Mercedes".

Then there is the growing group of Eco-snobs. The "Greenies" can be overly harsh in their criticism to the point of reducing their quarry to small, compostable, organic raw material. With their "greener than thou" shrill exclamations of "What do you mean you don't recycle!"
Or "If you simply must drive, the least you could do is buy a Hybrid!"

You will often hear folks accusing others of snobbery. How often, if ever, do you hear these same people refer to themselves as snobs? Excluding the uber-Snob. The "Snob's Snob"- that rare individual who proudly proclaims h/herself a snob in a certain area and relishes that branding. Aside from those exceptions, who among us is willing to admit to being a lit bit snobbish in one way or another?

Often, those most apt to label others as snobs are the ones who insist that they don't judge other people. Take Moderator 1 for example. She is always on her “no-judgment” soap box. "We should not be expressing ourselves through our egos" blah, blah, blah- BUT even she will admit to "perfume snobbery".

So, who’s telling the truth? Are we all snobs to varying degrees, in differing areas? It's highly probable that most of us are.

Ponder this question: What do you REALLY think of the guests on Maury Povich (Deontay……..you ARE NOT the father!!)?






What about the people you know who don’t read books, or the people who think “smooth jazz” is real jazz?

Those of you who consider yourselves to be Christians , do you look down on those who don’t subscribe to any particular religious philosophy or only attend church on Easter and Mother’s Day, if at all?

What about the brother who is 30 and still wears sagging pants and cornrows?
Come on EBP you’re going to tell me that none of you have ever felt even the slightest bit superior to those who didn’t go to college?

I once worked with a guy who didn’t attend college. He told me that his wife and all of his in-laws are EBP. At family gatherings, when they discuss current events and politics, everyone talks and listens to one another. Yet when he tried to add something to the topic at hand, they were very dismissive and never took his input seriously. He believes it’s because they are all well educated, they think they're better than he.

Most people believe that they are not snobbish. It's always someone else. It's the next door neighbor, a certain stuck up co-worker, those people at church who go to the car wash on Saturday afternoon so their car can look good on Sunday as they pull in to the church parking lot. Some of us non regular church goers wash our cars on Saturday afternoon too, but it's just a coincidence.

Moderator 1 says that if you find yourself surrounded by snobs you may well be looking at mirrors of something inside yourself projected outwards. There is an old expression: “No man is my enemy, no man is my friend-every man is my teacher.” If you point the finger at snobbish behavior, how many are pointing back at you?

Finally, are we even the ones to posit the question of who is or is not “a Snob” considering the name of this blog?

Just wondering…

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !!!

REACTIONS ALL OVER THE WORLD

Barack's Kenyan great-grandmother

Sarah Obama

MLK'S SISTER!

SENEGAL

ISRAEL

The EBP Watercooler - Is it 4th and 10 for McCain?

This is the place where we can discuss anything we wish.

Natural Hair Revolution: A Mod 2 Dream

Moderator 2: I have a recurring fantasy that black women will rise up and rebel against conformity to the European standard of beauty, especially in regard to their hair.
I mean, white women are not trying to make their hair look like black women's hair,
so why would black women try to look like them? Why not go with your hair's natural state? Wouldn't that save you a lot of money and trips to the beauty shop?

Following this reasoning, I wanted my two daughters to have their hair locked. My wife vetoed it, arguing that she wants them to have the choice when they get older. That was the reason she gave me for the veto, but there may have been other reasons as well. I'm sure Mod 1 will break it down for me...

Shaking him out of his waking dream state Moderator 1 responds to Moderator 2: "WAKE UP!!! You are most definitely dreaming!" I believe it was the movie "School Daze" in which the term "Wannabe" was originally coined or at least popularized. It is illustrated perfectly in this scene from the movie by Spike Lee:


It's a dance/sing off about "Good and Bad Hair" with the "Jiggaboos" vs. the "Wannabees."

The latter term has been integrated into the pop culture vernacular so that it now includes any person trying to be something they are not. However, in my opinion, wearing one's hair straight, dyed or chemically processed is NOT a sign of being a "sell out" or wanting to be anything other than what you are: A sister who has exercised her style options.

We have the most versatile hair in that we can rock it many different ways, all equal in their fabulocity. (If that wasn't a word, it is now!) Speaking as a sister who has experienced her own "Journey to Naturalness" that has included trips down "Press and Curl Way", stops on "Relaxer Street" a brief visit to "Jherri Curl Junction" and bobbing and weaving down "Braid Boulevard." Before finally arriving on "Au Natural Avenue." Let me tell you it is NOT an easy journey.

It's a process to let go of all the "processes" and say ENOUGH! Or, as Ms India Arie sings it so well, "I am NOT my hair"




Mod 2, do you really believe that black women would suddenly be free from some sort of bondage to Euro centric beauty ideals if we all went natural? If that is the case, then please tell me this: Who's going to free the brother's minds?

I suspect that many black women choose a path other than "Au Natural Avenue" because they are aware that, while a lot of black males say they love natural hair, their dating and mating choices tell a different story. This is true regardless of whether the man in question is an educated or under-educated brother. Of course there are exceptions, but it seems they number in the few, not the many.

Some time back, on this very blog, several of our regular visitors were commenting about the characters on the popular 90's sitcom "Living Single." They stated that they had always preferred the character Maxine. She was the sister with the decidedly natural hair and minimal makeup. I thought to myself then "Mmmhm, Ya'll are definitely in the minority

Every day I see BEAUTIFUL black women, with "Naptural" hair being passed over by brothers. Surprisingly enough, guess who has been opening up and expressing a sincere interest in these women. White men.

Would black women who want to mate/date black men get as much attention going natural as they do with straight or otherwise processed hair?

In America, many black men say one thing, but want to date/mate quite another. The few black men who frequent (and moderate) this blog who have voiced a preference for the dark and lovely sisters with the natural hair are not a microcosm of the greater black community.

Someone please find me numerous examples to the contrary to refute what I'm saying.
Go ahead, take your time. I'll be right here waiting...

Also, I have to disagree with something you wrote at the beginning of this post. You wrote:
"White women are not trying to make their hair look like black women's hair..."

Ahem, excuse me, but as black women, we are THE most imitated and emulated women on this planet. From our full lips to our round hips; our features are very highly prized and coveted.

Apparently just not when they are on us!

White women use tanning beds and lotions, inject lip collagen, and pay for "Brazilian Butt lifts." And don't even get me started talking about hair!

And who says that white women don't try to wear hair styles originated by black women?

Apparently this is NOT a new phenomenon!
From 'Fros to Cornrows... Let's not leave out Locs-> When Bo Derek rocked her 'rows they called her a "10"

From a distance this looks like a picture of John Meyer with Nicole Richie. It isn't. It's a VERY tanned Jessica Simpson

If you were born flat in the back, now you can fix that by getting butt implants. That's right-Booty, bought and paid for! If that is too much trouble and expense to go to just to have a bootlylicious derriere, there are always products such as "BootyPopp" undergarments: http://www.bootypoppanties.com/

Oh and for those of you not in the know. White women sport weaves and
hair extensions too! Paris Hilton even has her own brand of hair extensions-->

Okay we've established that your first point is moot-White women often emulate and imitate Black women. Now Mod2, as to the second part of your initial question. "Why do we try to emulate/imitate them?"How so, do you mean by straightening and/or dying our hair? Wearing colored contacts?

For the record, there are black people with naturally straight hair, naturally blond hair, and naturally blue eyes. By natural, I mean it is their own genetic makeup and not a result of being mixed with white ancestry.

I am sure some oh-so very educated and anal person reading this will reply: "Actually, Aboriginal people are considered Australoid, which is not necessarily Negroid".

To that I say "Whatever!" They consider themselves to be Black.

"What?!!! Naturally blond haired black folks?!! Oh no, we can't have that." Maybe that is one of the reasons the Australians of European ancestry tried to wipe as many of them out as they could.

But the Soloman Islands and Vanuatu are still FULL of them!

Oh and blue eyes are not a uniquely White European trait either:

Now, does Shantiqua with the blond dye job or long blond weave or wig know these facts?
I couldn't tell you...

Probably not--It doesn't matter, the point is, they do exist.

I will concede that there are some sisters who appear to be coveting the beauty ideal long thought to be inherently unique to white women. Some take it too far. The picture below is of rapper Lil Kim, or what's left of her. Sadly, she appears to be slowly morphing. This is her version of a Michael Jackson like, Body Dysmporphic Disorder, transformation.

She is virtually unrecognizable as her former self. Having lightened her skin and had numerous plastic surgery procedures. However, she is just one example. Hers is definitely an extreme case.

I believe the average sister is just trying to look her best. If that means dying or straightening her hair, wearing a weave or a wig. It doesn't mean she has lost any sense of her true self, or begun to shed layers of her identity as a Black woman.

Another point comes to mind when I think of a good friend of mine who is a successful VP at a NYC firm. She says she would LOVE to go natural, but doesn't feel her career would be on the same track if she did.

Which, to me begs the question: For some black women who go natural-Is it a style preference or a political statement? Maybe that depends upon the individual and the circumstances.

So Mod 2, if the "Natural Hair Revolution" ever occurs, enjoy it while it lasts. Because it will definitely be in your dreams!

Moderator 2 is nonplussed: Still, if most or all black women broke rank and went natural, as in my hypothetical, what would brothers do? What could they do but learn to love it?

Moderator 1 responds (with a sigh): I believe they can do what many of them are already doing- find other women who have the physical traits they prefer and ignore black women with natural hair altogether. If tomorrow all black women went natural, as in your dream, it better be because WE choose to do so for our own reasons, not to prove anything to anyone else.
We certainly don't need to shove our natural beauty down any one's throat. Mod 2 you said, "Brothers couldn't help but Learn to love it"? To that I reply rhetorically: If so many black men haven't "learned to love it" by now with a few black women going natural, what makes you think ALL of us doing it would change anything?

Mod 1 then shakes Mod 2 out of his reverie: "Wake Up!"

Is College a Scam? The book that colleges don't want you to read.

Marc Scheer is the author of No Sucker Left Behind, Avoiding the Great College Rip-Off.

Dr. Scheer is an educational consultant, researcher, and career counselor, with a Ph.D. in counseling psychology. He can be contacted at NoSucker1@gmail.com and he blogs at http://nosuckerleftbehind.blogspot.com/.

Upon arriving at the blog's homepage, I was greeted with, "No Sucker Left Behind is the only book that blows the lid off colleges' scandalous price-gouging schemes. More important, it includes innovative tools to fight back and get a valuable degree for less." I was immediately intrigued, and asked him for an interview, which is posted below.

He will answer further questions and comments on this blog and his if you want to speak with him.

Q: The title of your book, No Sucker Left Behind, is very provocative. Why did you choose it, and what motivated you to write this book?

A few years ago, I was concerned and disgusted to learn that a staggering number of young people were struggling with a challenging combination of high student debt and low salaries. At the same time, I started to realize that most colleges act like aggressive businesses, charging high prices, luring students in with tricky marketing, encouraging their students to borrow large amounts of money, getting kickbacks from lenders and other vendors, and not really caring if the students get hurt. I also realized that lots of peoples’ ideas about college are simply wrong (for example, it’s not true that a college degree is worth $1 million). And I started to think about possibly writing a book.

Then I heard the stories of Sean Moyer and Mitzi Pool. They were two students in Oklahoma who committed suicide due to the credit card debt they built up in college. They got their credit cards on campus, and their school received a kickback for helping to sign them up. That felt like blood money to me. And when I heard their stories, that clinched it for me: I felt I had to write a book to prevent future students from falling into a similar trap.

As for the title of the book, I wanted it to reflect my belief that colleges are taking advantage of students. I was originally going to call it “Held Up Without a Gun.” But my editor felt that was too generic, and asked me if I could think of anything more specific to education. When he said that, the very first thing that popped in my head was “No Sucker Left Behind,” because “No Child Left Behind,” is one of the most common educational slogans of our time, and colleges often act as if they want to take as much money as possible from every sucker (or victim) they can find. My hope is that my book will show people that colleges are treating them like suckers, and motivate them to seek out better college deals.

Q: Colleges are always telling us that education is an investment that pays off in the long run, and yields as much as a million dollars over a lifetime. What do you say to that?

I say that part of that statement is true, and part of it is very false. The truth part is that it’s usually a good idea to go to college. The reason for this is that employers require college degrees for the best jobs, and graduate schools require degrees for admission. A college degree is especially important for racial minorities and women, because it can help them get their foot in the door to a good job or grad school. In addition, it’s true that a college degree usually pays off financially over an entire lifetime, on average. Therefore, I believe that every person who has the money to afford college and the talent to graduate should go to college.

However, the surprise is that college degrees are not worth as much as people think. In fact, the idea that a college degree is worth $1 million might be the biggest lie in America. The problem is that the researchers who say this make a very big mistake: they tend to forget to subtract all the costs and lost income! A degree may lead to an extra $1 million in (gross) salary, but then you have to subtract college costs, loan costs (including interest payments), the opportunity cost of going to school instead of working for cash, and the income taxes that never really go into your pocket anyway. And when you subtract all of that, you find that college is worth about $470,000, and some people say it’s worth even less. This is still a lot of money, but it’s less than half of what colleges want you to believe.

In addition, the payoff is particularly low during your 20’s and 30’s. Even the College Board admits that students who attend private colleges don’t financially catch up to same-aged high school grads until they’re both in their 40’s! And college is obviously most risky for the many students who drop out after incurring some college costs, as well as those who receive below-average salaries after they leave college.

The solution is for students to keep their college costs as low as possible. Because the payoffs are poor in the beginning, and studies also show that higher college costs don’t lead to higher payoffs.

Q: A lot of our readers owe a lot of money in student loans. Our reader poll showed that the median student loan balance was about 35k, with about 25% owing 35-60k, and about 5% owing over 100k. Over 95% of them said that the student loan debt was worth it. Why do you think that is?

I’m a bit surprised to hear that 95% of them are satisfied with their student debt, because in the national polls I’ve seen, a large number of graduates say that their high debt wasn’t worth it. However, there could be a number of reasons why your audience thinks that student debt is a good investment. Maybe they’re suffering from “cognitive dissonance,” or “rationalization,” in which people who pay more for something convince themselves that it has higher value. Maybe they think that borrowing the money was the only way to obtain their degrees, ignoring the fact that they could have obtained degrees at other schools for less. Or maybe their degrees have truly made a difference in their lives; as I said earlier, college degrees can be more beneficial for racial minorities and women than other groups.

Q: What about elite universities? Isn’t a 100k student loan debt from an elite school worth it for the high quality education they provide?

It depends. Elite schools can be helpful, especially for minority students. But several studies illustrate that higher college costs usually don’t lead to better payoffs (including “Estimating the Payoff to Attending a More Selective College,” by Krueger and Dale). Students at elite schools tend to do well, but they do well because they are smart, not because their schools provide them with special advantages. In fact, many elite schools don’t even provide the best instruction; they offer very large classes with part-time instructors. And many students earn very low starting salaries after graduating from elite colleges (especially students who major in the liberal arts). Therefore, I encourage people to pursue the best schools that will require the lowest costs for them.

Q: I have read that low-income students graduate with higher debt loads for obvious reasons. How do you advise college kids whose parents cannot offer any financial support?

I encourage them to apply to several public and private colleges, to see which schools offer them the best deals. Many private schools have extra money for scholarships. Students should also consider low-cost community colleges. Or they can work for an employer that will help them pay for their degrees. And of course everyone should complete the “Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA; www.fafsa.ed.gov),” which as it says in the name is free to complete.

Q: What do you say to people who want to pursue graduate and doctoral degrees? Should cost be a concern?

In general, I think my main point about all of higher education is: “Cost should always be a concern!” In fact, as I point out in the final chapter of my book, graduate school is even more risky than college. It often requires more years of full-time study (so you can’t work for pay) and tens of thousands of dollars of more student debt. And the payoffs are just as shaky. For example, it’s tough for many grad school alumni to find good jobs, including graduates of lower-tier law schools, Psy.D. grads, primary care physicians, and (right now) MBA grads who specialize in finance. And Ph.D. students who want to pursue academic careers are finding that the jobs are disappearing as colleges increase their reliance on part-time instructors. In addition, many grad students complete several years of instruction but then drop out before finishing their degrees. The solution is to pursue a graduate degree that will have high value and low costs. And, unlike colleges, prestigious grad schools can often lead to much better payoffs.

Q: Most colleges are technically not for profit entities. Why does it matter how much they charge?

It matters specifically because they are not-for-profit entities that act like aggressive businesses. As non-profits, they pay no taxes and receive lots of government payments from you and me, the taxpayers. At the same time, 136 schools have at least $500 million in their bank accounts, most of these have at least $1 billion, and students are drowning in high tuition and debt. That’s why we need to be concerned.

Q: I’ll bet you’re really popular with college presidents and entities that stand to gain from student loan debt.

Hahaha. As long as I’m popular among students, alumni, and their families, I’ll be happy. In the past few years, we’ve learned that a large number of colleges have improper (and in some cases, illegal) kickback deals with student loan lenders, credit card companies, study abroad programs, and textbook companies. And those who have been involved with that should be ashamed of themselves. It’s time that the public learned what’s been going on behind their backs, and that many colleges are taking advantage of them.

Q: Would you support the U.S. Government subsidizing higher education so that it is free or at a greatly reduced cost?

It’s a tricky situation. On one hand, it doesn’t make sense for the government to provide any more money to colleges. We’ve given them enough taxpayer money, and that has allowed many of them to get rich while students get poor. However, we also need to ensure that our best and brightest students can afford to go to college, even if they come from low-income families. So it’s a difficult paradox, and I don’t know what the answer is. Instead of giving more money to schools, giving government vouchers or scholarships directly to students might work. I think we need a combination of government intervention and better consumer decisions.

Q: You have a Ph.D. How did you navigate through this maze?

Just like anyone else, with plenty of success and failure, good luck and bad. My goal at this point is to pass along some wisdom and help the next generation avoid the debt traps that have hurt so many in my generation.

The Dating Game

Some time ago, we polled the SEBPTA readers, asking a couple of questions. Here were your responses.

Would you seriously date or marry a person who did not go to college?

Yes (12%)
No (35%)
Depends on the person (52%)


If your answer is "no", please tell us why. Select more than one answer if applicable.

Compatibility may be a problem. (70%)
Personal standards/values. (50%)
It would embarrass me. (26%)
It may cause resentment. (30%)
I want certain values instilled in children. (53%)
My family and/or peers would disapprove. (30%)

What are the pros and cons of marrying someone without a degree? Women of all races are graduating from college at higher rates than men, which will naturally change the dynamics of dating. For educated women looking for educated men, there are inevitably not enough to go around. However, according to the first survey question above, it doesn't matter to most EBW. About 60% of SEBPTA readers are women, and just over half of you said that you would marry a high school graduate "depending on the person".

In the post-modern dating arena, who do you think is supposed to pay for the first date? Is it okay for a woman to propose to a man?

Women, are you okay with dating a guy who makes less than you?

Men, do you feel secure dating a woman who makes more, has a graduate degree, owns her own townhome, and has a 780 credit score?

Post Traumatic Ghetto Syndrome (PTGS)

Moderator 2 has a PhD in PTGS Therapy, and is an expert in diagnosing and treating EBP with this disorder.

For 3 easy payments of $199.99, he will diagnose and treat the ailment, or your money back!

Post Traumatic Ghetto Syndrome (PTGS) is a common ailment that afflicts many EBP who have moved out of the hood, and nestled into the quiet 'burbs. They suffer in silence as they are subjected to the deafening quiet of no police helicopters, ambulance sirens or cars that vibrate the entire block with their bass thumpin', trunk full of speakers.

Think of George Jefferson's Movin' on Up. The money ain't no thang. He lived in his 'Deeluxe' Apartment in the Sky. His son Lionel grew up in the affluence he created for him, and was therefore much more polished and sophisticated than his Dear Old Dad. George had ghetto flashbacks that his money could not control. His condition became so debilitating that his son and wife had to revive him from time to time; remind him that he was no longer in the hood, he was safe uptown.

Are you an EBP who is sharp, witty, and well-bred? Like most of us, you love seeing that bro or sis taking care of business and making us look good. You wish that BET would go out of business, and you sometimes fantasize about having a mind control device that you could use on UEBP.You are also miffed by these extremely negative public portrayals of black people on youtube, rap videos, and Soledad O'Brien's crappy documentary. Zero tolerance is what you have for young blacks who yell and curse in public places with no regard for older folks or children.

When you get together with your EBP friends and Talk About Uneducated Black People you saw clowning this week, you are the first one to spout off an eyewitness testimony.

YET, at about 1 out of every 5 or 6 get-togethers, you feel an uncontrollable urge to vehemently defend misogynistic videos, the brother on the news who beat up a 70 year old lady, or the rapper who argues that "deeze 'hos choze to be in mah bideos, 'nowhahmsayin?". You actually go off on your friends at happy hour for "putting down their own peeps", and they all look at you with concern.

Here are some questions you need to examine.

Does your wife or girlfriend ever tell you that she's proud of you for going to college and making it out of the hood, but that you need to "let it go"?

Does her sterile, safe, suburban, middle class background sometimes irritate you? Do you sometimes feel suffocated at her family's dinner table?

Does your boyfriend or hubbie ever compare you to a war veteran who has seen action?

Do you have an orange-haired Shaniqua inside of you that you have to control when the white store clerk makes you mad?

Do you sometimes get mad at yourself for watching BET videos on the sneak, then bragging to your peers that you never watch that garbage?

Do your friends get quiet or look at each other when you tell them "You've never seen a kilo in your life", or "You wouldn't last an hour in the hood"?

Do you sometimes get mad when your boyfriend turns off "that music" when driving down his street?

If you answered 3 or more of these questions affirmatively, then you have Post Traumatic Ghetto Syndrome (PTGS).

The first step is to admit that you have a problem.

The second step is to listen to your friends and your significant other.

The third step is to call my hotline at 555-777-9311, or email at keepinitrealnomore@ptgs.mod2.org.

Operators are standing by.

By the way, James Bond's antagonist "Jaws" actually gave Grillz a sophisticated look...They look so much better with a nicely cut suit.

EB Children - Be Careful What You Wish For

You want to have smart kids one day? Are you sure about that?

My six year old corrects me on a regular basis. She already reads Young Readers chapter books, and is a member of the grammar police. She's always right, and is never afraid to let me or anyone else know. In addition to keeping me together, she constantly corrects the grammar of people she hears on the radio as I'm changing stations in the car, even celebrities such as Steve Harvey, Tom Joyner's sidekick, and country-western singers.

How did this happen? How did these little monsters come about?

EB parents are obsessed with their children, especially as it pertains to their academic success and fast track intellectual growth. EB dads in my circle (myself included) have confessed to reading to their kids while they were still inside Mommy's tummy. From the day they are born, EBP's children are expected to win. We expect them to sleep all night by month 3, and to be enthralled with books by age 1.

EB children have a demanding schedule and are held to a very high standard. Below are some of the EB parents’ expectations.

Age 2

Karate
Ballet
Daily reading sessions with Dad or Mom.

Knowing the alphabet and counting to 20 in two languages.
An insistence on pronouncing words correctly.
Tee-ball
Art

Age 6

Competitive sports. We have no aspirations for Nike contracts or "going pro", but sports is merely a tool to further instill the ethic of competitiveness and winning. Regardless of what EB parents say, winning is everything, and they will never admit it.

Familiarity with the presidential candidates.
An appreciation for Jazz.
An appreciation for classical music.
Strong math and reading skills.
Multilingualism.
Gymnastics.
Soccer or basketball.
A working knowledge of geography.

Age 10

A relative mastery of the English language. A ten year old should rarely need to have her or his grammar corrected. In fact, this is the point in which many EB parents begin to dislike the little W.E.B. Du Bois they bred. They have taught them so much that the EB child thinks s/he is smarter than Dad and Mom. After all, little Jordan and Kennedy can name 15 African countries (and discuss their political climate), 5 Impressionist artists and compare/contrast their work, speak 2 languages, correct you in front of your parents, and piss you off in general with the greatest of ease.

You’re pissed off at little Taylor because you’re feeding and clothing this Great Debater who can talk back to you in another language.

EB children have a lot of latitude because EB parents reject the Switches and Extension Cords ideology of discipline. We prefer lecturing and denial of privileges. My personal favorite is not allowing them to speak for a given period of time. They would rather be thrown down the steps than to be silenced. We don’t want to beat our kids into submission, but an occasional swat never killed anyone.

You want to have smart kids one day? Be careful what you ask for…..

If they can handle the below situation, they can sure as hell handle you.